top of page
  • Jon Freeman

Fourth Dimension Relationship

Married Couple Hands by Veronika Tracy-Smith

On a gravestone is the inscription “3rd Dimension. RIP. Thank you for teaching us polarity consciousness.” This image is circulating on Facebook this morning, 12/21/12 as we pass through the end of the Mayan calendars.

As I write, we have passed the midpoint and “survived” our alignment with galactic centre. No surprise there as far as I am concerned though I thought that there might have been more obvious outer turbulence. But it has been apparent to all of the awake people that I know that the energy shift is not a momentary burst. Instead it resembles a train pulling into a station, halting and pulling away again. We have been experiencing the wave intensely for months now and my acupuncturist tells me her clients – even those who are not energy-aware – are asking “what’s going on?” I expect that this will continue. It would be nice if the outbreath would be less intense than the inbreath. If anything I am feeling more acceleration in the days since.

I wonder what you are expecting as a result of this transition?

Where do you think it will take you?

What would you like?

My belief is that a shift in consciousness means making the end of polarity consciousness much more real. By that I mean that it will not suffice for us to meditate and find peace once or twice a day. It will not be enough to connect in workshops or webinars and then go back to our old lives. We have to be seeking 24/7 unity. How does it get any better than that?

In this context I find the conversations about masculine and feminine really interesting. My adult life has coincided with the women’s liberation movement and then with the New Age re-awakening of goddess / sacred feminine. That will still be very much alive for many people. And if it might be forgiven for a man to express a point of view, I have to ask whether this will be sufficient for the time to come.

My point is that the loss of the feminine has coincided with an era of dysfunctional masculine. It is easy to see the downgraded, victimised, suppressed aspects of women’s experience and on a superficial level it has appeared that men might be thriving on their dominance. Whatever parts of existence that might be true for, the deeper reality has to be that men and women have both suffered from this disconnection. The masculine has been sick too. Men may have had a material upper hand, but how many more men than women have been truly happy, fulfilled, connected? Not many, I suggest.

In another recent Facebook cartoon, one woman is saying to another that she wants a man who is loyal, unconditionally loving, sensitive, tolerant of her moods and faults- there for her no matter what. Her friend tells her that what she needs is a dog. What is truly needed here? What would a relationship with a real and healthy man look like? Women have been leading the way in the consciousness and personal growth movements. There are plenty of male teachers, but in my 30+ years of workshop attendance I am on average part of a 20% sector. While this is part of women finding their voice and creating mutual support to climb out of oppressed histories, and while this may be rebalancing some power relationships and enabling breakout from dependence it does not solve the fundamental disconnection. We either achieve this shift as one humanity or we do not achieve it at all.

So many of the women on these workshops over the years have been in tension. So many had left partnerships, or were preparing the ground to do so, or were tolerating relationships that were no longer fulfilling. So many of the men (myself often included) were confused about their place in this shifting world – not wanting to be oppressors and yet finding our maleness to be viewed as somehow second-class. I wonder how many reading this recognise themselves or others in these descriptions?

"My intention is not to make anyone wrong. Certainly it is not to make men right. But why is it that men are not following this path to the same extent as women? I suggest that it is not because they think everything is alright as it is. I don’t believe it implies contentment. Perhaps many have settled for what is on offer, are escaping into sports, TV and alcohol or into pornography where they can sublimate their needs with fantasy partners who seem to adore their manhood. Whatever is happening, the fulfilled, healthy, empowered masculine and feminine are not rising hand in hand, and many men don’t have any sense of what to do to meet their deeper needs.”

So what would that take? What is needed if we are to step out of the polarity of masculine-feminine. I do not mean to say that masculine and feminine will cease to exist. They are as basic as hot and cold or light and dark. But we know how to manage those polarities and use air-conditioning and clothing, electric lights and sun-blinds. We have a long history of unhealthy versions of the yielding feminine and masculine drive. I suggest that we cannot achieve a healthy blend if we only focus on raising the feminine.

It sometimes seemed that the answer was to feminise men, make them more sensitive. There’s nothing wrong with t

hat providing men are also encouraged to embrace their power (that’s power to, not power over) and to embody the outward creative force that can be theirs. In the absence of that shift, women are likely to step into the vacuum – attempting to fulfil both healthy feminine and healthy masculine. That is a lot to ask. It firstly requires that they have an inner understanding of what the healthy masculine needs to be. In the absence of positive experiences and role models there has been a tendency for women to emulate the worst of what men have been and not the best. Secondly it means that they are trying to be everything, which sounds like a recipe for stress. And if men are not supported to be healthily male, and criticised for being any other kind, what do they become?

The future of male-female relationships has to be different from the past. In this series of linked postings, I would like to take the conversation about relationships into a new place, to look a little more closely than we usually do into our historical beliefs and assumptions. I would like to look closely at what we expect, what we say we want, at our vision of the future of men and women together. I have a conviction that we need a new vision, that there are ways of thinking that no longer serve us. Re-awakening both masculine and feminine together is one element of that, and certainly a good place to start the journey.

About the Author

Jon Freeman

Jon is a visionary with a passion for propelling the change in thinking that will support us through the major transitions currently facing humanity. He has extensive knowledge of alternative health and personal development practices and a deep understanding of how human body-minds work. He is among the world’s leading trainers and practitioners in Spiral Dynamics Integral and a founding director of the UK Centre for Human Emergence. Jon’s greatest passion lies in cracking open our view of reality, replacing the matter-oriented scientific orthodoxy with a blended system of understanding which acknowledges the importance of Consciousness in determining the form that all creation takes. He views this aspect of consciousness-raising as a key to humanity’s future. Read more about Jon Freeman here.

#consciousrelationships #polaritymanagement #unityconsciousness

bottom of page